If you are a Millennial and a fan of wrestling, when you hear a glass shatter, you automatically get into defense mode. The only thing that comes to mind is a “can of whoop-ass” that could be coming your way. The iconic glass shattering is synonymous with Stone Cold Steve Austin.
Stone Cold was the top star for the WWF during wrestling’s peak popularity, which helped the company win the Monday Night War. The beer-swigging, middle-finger-flipping, hell-raising, SOB is one of the most popular superstars in the history of professional wrestling. Today, on March 16th, we celebrate Austin because of a famous promo.
Austin 3:16 Says We’re Celebrating a Legend
If you’re a wrestling fan and haven’t been living under a rock for the last thirty years, you know about the infamous “Austin 3:16” promo at the 1996 King of the Ring. Stone Cold’s popularity skyrocketed into the stratosphere! What started as a situation that should never have happened was the birth of the company’s biggest star.
The bald head, goatee, black trunks, and bad ass character had all of us handing out Stone Cold Stunners on the playground and having all of us wanting to give the middle finger to our boss. Austin elevated Monday Night Raw on a weekly basis. If it wasn’t driving a beer truck or zamboni into the arena, it was filling up Mr. McMahon’s car with cement.
The WWF’s top star was raising hell throughout the entire Attitude Era. Stone Cold gave the blue-collar worker who hated his boss a voice and a release from their everyday work life. Who doesn’t want to stomp a mudhole in their boss’s ass regularly?
His feuds with Vince, The Rock, and The Undertaker were unforgettable! The “Austin 3:16” shirt itself was a merchandise phenomenon, and who didn’t want one of those middle-foamed fingers? The guy who carried the WWF through the Monday Night Wars against his former employer WCW.
How to Celebrate Austin 3:16 Day
Now you may wonder how to celebrate March 16th. Well, we all know tomorrow is St.Patrick’s Day, and there will probably be some heavy drinking. Here is a good chance to build that tolerance up. Grab a couple of “SteveWeisers,” and if you can’t find any of those, just grab a few of your favorite beers or seltzers.
Better yet, have someone throw them to you out of a nice, iced cooler (make sure you catch them, I’ve never seen Austin drop any). Crack the can open, clang those SOBs together, and chug as much of it as you can with most of it dripping down your chin all over your chest. As soon as you start catching a buzz, start flipping people off!
The mailman has a problem with it? Give him a swift kick to the stomach and then Stone Cold Stun his ass! When he’s down, get down and start talking trash right in his face. Steve Austin would be proud of your actions. If you’re on the other end of the stunner, you’d better sell that thing better than The Rock could.
Final Thoughts
It’s crazy that Stone Cold Steve Austin only used the “Austin 3:16” line once, and thirty years later, you still see the shirts, and we still celebrate March 16th. Most fans have him on their Mount Rushmore of professional wrestlers, and he deserves to be there. In the hottest era of sports entertainment, he was the biggest star in the world.
Today can be a pregame to St. Patrick’s Day, but don’t overdo it, or you may need the “hair of the dog” tomorrow. So if you are saying “What?” after every sentence to people today, chugging beers, raising hell, or dishing out stunners, you are paying homage to the Hall of Famer. So with a middle finger, “that’s the bottom line, cause Stone Cold says so!”
Point of Vision 
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